For many children, Transition Day (or “moving up day”) is fun and exciting.
But for many others, especially neurodivergent children, it’s a very scary time.
Many neurodivergent people thrive with predictability and familiarity, which goes out of the window when presented with the prospect of moving to a new classroom, with a new teacher and TAs, new rules, new expectations, new routines, new curriculum, a new seat and seating plan, new books, and sometimes new classmates.
On transition day, they may come out of school quiet and thoughtful. They may be feeling exhausted or overwhelmed. Or they may be excited and talkative, wanting to tell you all about their new classroom, teacher, or seating positions in assembly! They may be anxious, argumentative or aggressive.
There are so many different ways that children express their feelings around big changes, and sometimes those feelings don’t become clear straight away. You might see them develop over the evening or over the next few days or weeks, as we head towards the end of term.
What you can do
Acknowledge and validate your child’s concerns. Let them know that it’s very normal to feel nervous, scared, or sad about leaving their old teacher, classroom or friends.
It’s tempting to try and minimise their fears by telling them that it’s no big deal, but this won’t help; it will actually make your child feel less heard and more dismissed. Instead, validate their feelings and offer your support. “It’s OK to feel like this. It’s a big change and I’m going to help you with it. “
Ask for an informal meeting with the new teacher, in the new classroom, if you can. See if the school will let you, your child and the new teacher spend some time together, away from a whole class. Your child can familiarise themselves with the room; you can both tell the new teacher anything that you think is important to know; your child can ask questions and voice concerns more easily than they might in a whole class scenario. It might be useful to ask how the class timetable works, how seating arrangements work, what will be the same as now, and what will be different.
Make your child aware of the positives. Explain to your child that people who are scared for a while at the start, find that they’re a lot happier after a few weeks of the new year. They find their new topics interesting, and there will be things they are allowed to do that they couldn’t before, because they’re that little bit older now. Try to avoid, “YOU’LL feel better in a few weeks…” which can seem like an impossible expectation for them at this stage, and instead use the less personal, “People who really worry about this feel better after a few weeks…” It can be reassuring to know that others go through this and end up happy.
Thinking back to their own previous transitions and how they overcame those fears, can also be helpful. “Do you remember when you felt like this last year? What was it like when you first started in this class? When did you start to feel happier? What helped?”
Maintain consistency at home. Keeping your child’s familiar home routines, sleep schedules, homework arrangements etc will provide grounding and reassurance that not everything in their lives is changing. Now is not the time to be changing things at home. While their school life suddenly seems unpredictable and up in the air, they have a safe, consistent, familiar environment at home.
Remember that it won’t always be this hard. As a parent, it can feel very difficult to know that our child is scared, sad or anxious. Try to keep in mind that worry, fear and sadness, while difficult, are a normal part of childhood, and your child will grow and learn from this experience. With your support now, your child will survive this difficult period of transition and emerge from the other side. Future transitions will be made that little bit easier by having the experience and hindsight of having survived this one.



